Don't eat the thawed out chicken schnitzel that you forgot you'd left on the bench. Unless squirting liquid from your butthole for two days is, like, your thing. © Melanie Bateson
Have you ever found yourself brushing your teeth, looking down at the loo, and wondering how the ACTUAL HECK your children get piss THERE?! No? Just me? Alrighty then.
Y'know. Pretty much everything. It's just not how I imagined it to be when I was running around the povvo pool in my undies back in the 1970's and 80's. I thought I'd grow up to be 16, my name would change to Debbie or Stephanie (I thought these names were MOST sophisticated around my… Continue reading Well, this hasn’t quite worked out the way I thought it would.
I'm going grey. I thought this was ok with me. It turns out it isn't. After I had Miss 5, I noticed there were some white and silver bits of hair appearing on the old noggin. I thought it was charming. Fool. Some 3 years ago, I made an outlandish (hindsight is 20/20) statement to… Continue reading Do I wash that gray right out of my hair?!
Hello my friend!It’s always so lovely to receive one of your emails, they are both informative and witty – as one ought to expect coming from a man possessing these same attributes. All is travelling along nicely as we count down the days until school returns for the almost 8 year old and begins for the… Continue reading School Holiday Fun Times
Now, let it be said that I am almost without exception, a liker of people. I like that they are not all the same, that they opine - at times wildly and without actual thought - in a manner different to moi. Or not that differently, if that example is anything to go by. I… Continue reading How to Dislike in These Politically Correct Times
So the day prior to Mother's Day, our annual celebration of mothers an all that we do, The Groom and I had a "heated discussion" regarding what, if anything, I actually DO all day. The poor pet drives to work and back each day, suffering through countless meetings, luncheons and time spent on the computer.… Continue reading The Nothing That I Do